graycardinal | Meme: 15 Characters (Winter Procrastination Edition) • Answers (Reply)

[wakes up, glances at date]
[!!!!]

Ye ghods and little fishes, has it been almost two years since I last looked at this list?

(OTOH, I've clearly justified the "Procrastination" callout in the original header....)

I'm not even going to try and justify having let the darned thing sit that long, but at the same time, some of these Q-and-A combos were just too impressively bizarre not to share even at this late date.

Herewith the character list from the (semi-)current round. Note that I'm now running my lists through a randomizer prior to opening a new round:

Maria Hill • MCU
Shego • Kim Possible
Elminster of Shadowdale • Forgotten Realms
Emily Pollifax • Mrs. Pollifax (Gilman)
Goliath • Gargoyles
Seven of Nine • Star Trek
Alexis Castle • Castle
Tommy Oliver • Power Rangers
Barbara Gordon • Batman Beyond
Carmela Rodriguez • Young Wizards (Duane)
Gabriel Agreste • Miraculous Ladybug
Joan Watson • Elementary
Pat Dugan • Stargirl (TV)
Kermit the Frog • Muppets
Stephen Strange • MCU

Now, then (some questions have been slightly edited to supply pronouns appropriate to the characters involved):

From astrogirl:
Maria Hill finds Shego's lost wallet. Does Maria return it? Does she keep any money inside? Does Shego offer a reward and if so does Maria take it? And how did Shego lose her wallet in the first place, anyway?

The first question here is exactly when and where Maria finds the wallet, because that's likely to make a difference in response. In either case, she's almost certain to recognize Shego's mercenary history (SHIELD has surely inherited or appropriated Global Justice's files at some point). Shego will get the wallet back intact, almost certainly accompanied by a job offer, but the exact assignment will vary depending on the timeline. Early in MCU continuity, she's likely to land on Coulson's team from Agents of SHIELD; later on, it's more likely that Maria will toss Shego into the Black Widow's orbit. Either way, given sufficient persuasion (some but not all of it financial), Shego is likely to shift gears away from "villain" at least into "anti-hero" mode, as most of the MCU black hats are a lot nastier than anyone she's dealt with earlier in her career.

Seven of Nine writes Barbara Gordon a fan letter. What does it say? How does Barbara feel about it, and does she respond?

The logistics of this are...challenging, even given that I specified the Batman Beyond version of Barbara in the list. Still, I've had weirder questions...

So. I think what happens here is that Voyager has in its holodeck files a full conversion of the Timm-era DC animated material. Seven, in searching the archives, will have been drawn first to the Zeta Project series (because one of its leads is a free-willed android), and from there to Batman Beyond (from which Zeta's series was spun off). And in that series, older police commissioner Barbara is something of a Janeway figure. And that's a thing that Seven can respect, and write about in her personal log, and to some extent model as she builds a working relationship with Janeway herself. And if holo!Barbara were ever to read Seven's personal log, the parts of it about holo!Barbara would totally count as a fan letter. As it is, Seven likely does end up having some thoughtful heart-to-heart talks with holo!Barbara while binging the series archives, and the result of those is growing mutual respect, both between Seven and holo!Barbara and Seven and Janeway.

Gabriel Agreste is now Emperor of the World! What is the first policy he enacts? Should the world be worried? Do Elminster, Alexis Castle, and Joan Watson need to team up to overthrow them, and if so, can they manage it?

Heh. I put ONE full-bore archvillain on this list, and this question unerringly gives him the win he's been looking for.

Given the framing of the question, one has to assume that Gabriel has already obtained most or all of the Miraculous talismans and dealt with Ladybug and Chat Noir. This has caused serious imbalances in the fabric of magic across the multiverse, which in turn has definitely drawn Elminster's attention. Being cautious, Elminster has dropped in on Earth by way of New York rather than Paris, and that puts him in a position to recruit both Alexis and Joan (this being part of the Miraculous universe, rebalancing things necessarily needs a strong female counter to set against Gabriel's enforced rule).

Will the resistance carry the day? It'll be a fierce battle, but Elminster is canonically one of the most powerful wizards anywhere and anywhen, and both Joan and Alexis are strong of spirit and unlikely to back down (especially once they know enough about the Miraculous to understand Marinette's role in the larger conflict). So yes, I think Gabriel's going down.

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From thisbluespirit (who gets bonus good-kind-of-evil points for springing questions on me that I asked them in a prior round):

Shego and Alexis Castle wake up handcuffed together, in an apparently sealed chamber. Which odd-numbered character will release the hungry tiger into the room 30 minutes from now, and which even-numbered character will turn up to rescue the prisoners?

Heh. Again, there's one true villain on this whole list, so of course it's Gabriel Agreste (aka Hawkmoth and/or Monarch and/or Emperor of the World, per above) who's responsible for the trap and the tiger. Indeed, this may (or may not) be an early incident in the mage-war described upstream.

If we stipulate that this is part of the above-described rebellion, then clearly Joan Watson is the likeliest rescuer. If it's a separate event, then the next-most-plausible candidate is Carmela Rodriguez, older sister to a wizard, interstellar dealer in gray-market chocolate, and proud owner of a laser dissociator. OTOH, with Shego's plasma powers in the equation, the two prisoners may well be able to deal with handcuffs and a tiger all by themselves.

Elminster recruits Barbara Gordon and Pat Dugan - separately - to acquire a valuable artifact which is in Joan Watson's possession by any means necessary. Who will actually get the job done, how badly will the competing agents get in each other's way, and who (if any) of the quartet will find themselves under arrest before the caper is complete?

The way this is framed, it's clearly not in the same continuity as the "Emperor Gabriel" scenario. That being noted, I think we can also assume that Joan doesn't realize she's got a major magical whatsit on her hands.

The central issue here is once again logistics. This being Beyond!Barbara, she's going to need help from Elminster to deal with the time travel involved; Pat, by contrast, only needs to get to New York and then either make a sufficiently good sales pitch or arrange a sufficiently deft heist. Either way, I'd say Pat clearly has the edge - and very possibly a certain Richard Swift in his back pocket, if we consider that this is probably post-series for the Stargirl characters. And since (a) both Pat and Barbara have access to superior resources, and (b) Joan is likely to be persuadable by honest means anyway, the likelihood of anyone being arrested along the way is minimal at best.

Maria Hill, Seven of Nine, and Gabriel Agreste are marooned together on an uninhabited tropical island with minimal survival gear, no personal electronics whatsoever - and just to be annoying, something is blocking both teleportation magic and transporter technology. How long does it take for the trio to escape, or do they settle down permanently - and what romantic partnership, if any, results from the adventure?

Clearly this one is also not part of the "Emperor Gabriel" scenario. That said, so long as Gabriel still has a Miraculous in hand he'll be off the island before the day is out - he may not be able to teleport or phone for help, but almost any Miraculous should be able to supply a means of physical escape given a sufficiently creative application.

Maria and Seven won't miss him much; they both have enough native survival skill to keep going for some time, and also both have allies who are likely (a) to come looking for them and (b) to have the resources to penetrate the intriguingly selective blocking fields. By the time they're rescued, they will almost certainly be good friends - and, indeed, possibly more than that, depending to some extent on whether Seven is permanently relocated in time or just visiting the MCU!present.

Carmela Rodriguez and Stephen Strange run into each other purely by chance, and strike up a relationship. Six months later, they are together when they encounter Alexis Castle, with whom each of them has a strong (but previously unrevealed) past connection. Once the three have finished comparing notes, is there a disastrous breakup, a steamy three-way sex marathon, a friendly evening of mutual reminiscence, or some combination of the foregoing - and who ends up leaving with whom?

Two-thirds of this is perfectly straightforward. Carmela is canonically wizard-adjacent, and all three of these characters are canonically based in or near New York City, so it's not at all unlikely that Carmela and Dr. Strange would cross paths, and equally plausible that Carmela's and Alexis' social orbits might well intersect. The joker in the deck is Strange's connection to Alexis. Now I am on record as being deeply skeptical of canon's answers regarding the matter of Richard Castle's parentage, so it's tempting to assert that Strange is Alexis' grandfather. Tempting - but not really realistic. OTOH, it strikes me that he'd make a perfectly reasonable uncle or great-uncle, especially in a fused setting.

That being the case, the revelations default to an evening of mutual reminiscence, as Strange is certainly NOT interested in either girl That Way. As to Carmela and Alexis - Carmela might possibly be interested, but my instinct is that Alexis isn't wired that way, and in any case I think they have better mutual chemistry as friends than as a couple.

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From kernezelda (by way of astrogirl, due to a threading anomaly (or possibly a multi-parallel space-time inversion):

Goliath, Carmela Rodriguez, and Stephen Strange are tagged (unknowingly) and torn from their various reality(ies). They find themselves on an unpiloted Leviathan in Farscape, on the run from Vorcarian Blood Trackers in the Uncharted Territories. They don't know this, but if they survive, they'll be picked up and deposited back in the moment they were taken. Do they work together, or against each other? Do they escape or are they captured? Do they survive, or are their heads hung in a captain's quarters?

Fortunately for everyone involved, everyone in this trio is magic-aware, even if neither Carmela nor Goliath are actually wizards - and all three have at least some experience in dealing with aliens and/or serious reality shifts. They will have no trouble adjusting to circumstances, are unlikely to have much trouble with the Blood Trackers, and should all find themselves back home in fairly short order. (Possibly even sooner than the practical joker who pulled this stunt has expected, given that Strange may well be able to backtrail the original magical snatch-and-grab to its point of origin.)

Shego and Gabriel Agreste are twins separated at birth and flung into random times to avoid one murdering the other, as said murder would fulfill the beginning of a world-ending prophecy. One of them, a brilliant researcher, figures out from their study of history that their world was once a prison planet from which emerged one of the great leaders of hope and light - whose recorded image's face is that of the researcher. The world that ended was the reign of darkness and despair, brought into peace and prosperity by followers of that ancient martyred leader. Except that Barbara Gordon and Kermit the Frog have allied to prevent that murder, in order to maintain a supply of dark emotion/energy to power their time machine. Does the future twin find a way to stop them murdering the past twin? Or fail to stop the murder, at the cost of their own present? Do they ever meet their twin, to know the cost of success or failure?

Oy.

Once again, this question unerringly puts the ONE actual arch-villain on the whole list in a position of unreasonable cosmic power - and in a way that is kinda sorta consistent with the wrap-up of Gabriel's actual plot arc. And it simultaneously casts two really unlikely villains as more or less Evil Masterminds. (Also, if I read this right, murdering the researcher both brings on an age of enlightenment and triggers the world-ending prophecy....)

99 times out of 100, I think the only way this one ends is in total collapse of the immediate universe, based purely on the number of apparent paradoxes and the weirdness of the character assignments. That said...

First, of Shego and Gabriel, Gabriel just about has to be the researcher; that's very much in his skill set, and Miraculous canon actually does give him a redemption arc. Most of the time, though, with Shego and stipulated!Evil versions of Barbara and Kermit against him, he and the universe are going to be pretty much doomed...at least if he's also the twin sent to the future. But if we make him the twin sent to the past - that may just give him enough clues to recognize the anomalies in the timeline, deduce the existence and nature of Barbara's and Kermit's alliance, and figure out a way to neutralize the time-tampering and/or turn one of his three nominal foes to his side (especially given the odds that at least one of Barbara and Kermit is only villainous by circumstance rather than true evil intent).

Elminster, Seven of Nine, Alexis Castle, and Joan Watson are brought together by mischievous powers and forced to prepare a sumptuous feast, each contributing according to their culture, and the one with the most-enjoyed dishes will be allowed to return home with plenty of local currency and a fancy plaque. The losers will be forcibly enrolled in culinary school for a minimum of two years (their own time) or until they can prepare a delicate and delicious souffle that won't collapse.

Heh. I don't immediately recall any of these four being tagged as having serious culinary chops in canon, and I rather suspect that both Seven and Joan are both well below average in this area. Elminster, given centuries of practice and wizard-skills, is probably the best-skilled of the group - but I also suspect that Alexis has taught herself cookery in self-defense (Martha does not present as a likely kitchen genius, and Castle himself is either not much better or only has a really limited repertoire). And I think in a competitive setting, the ruling Powers are likely to give Alexis more credit for learned skill than they will Elminster for conjured cuisine. That said, it won't take Elminster long to master his souffle...but Seven and Joan may be stuck in school for the full term.

Emily Pollifax and Tommy Oliver are gifted lovely bouquets of fatally poisonous flowers. Who is attempting to kill them and why? Are these events related or coincidental? Who benefits in each case, and do either of them survive to solve their own murder attempt?

Hmm. Emily's canonically a superb gardener, and will easily dodge a floral poison; Tommy's Ranger powers should likewise keep him alive long enough to locate an antidote or neutralize the toxin. In Emily's case, she's probably on a CIA mission, the flowers were most likely meant to target someone else, and she sort matters out in fairly short order. In Tommy's, the flowers are simply from the monster of the week (there is always a monster of the week), and the current Ranger team will take care of that situation in equally short order.

Maria Hill and Pat Dugan meet Cally from Blake's 7 and try to steal her moon rocks. Who succeeds in the theft but runs into Vila who gets them drunk and steals the moon rocks? Who fails in the theft, and is dealt with by Cally in a rather stern way?

Heh. Maria succeeds, runs into Vila, gets Vila drunk, and escapes with the moon rocks. Pat, OTOH, also initially succeeds, but then runs into Vila and both Pat and Vila get drunk, and each of them ends up with half the moon rocks.

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From acorn_squash:
Pat Dugan and Stephen Strange dated for a while back in the day. Who dumped who?

!!!

I'm having real trouble visualizing this one. I think both of them must have been seriously on the rebound from someone(s) else at the time, and then quickly agreed that neither one of them was good for each other after a brief attempt at a fling.

Alexis Castle, Barbara Gordon, and Pat Dugan are roommates. How's that going for them?

Hmm. I can actually see two-thirds of this; Barbara and Pat would likely work pretty well as roomies (both being in the caped-crusader business, and both also being experienced sidekicks). I do not think Alexis would last long as the third wheel in this equation, being both a full generation younger and from a completely different social background - unless, maybe, she worked out Barbara's and/or Pat's secret identities and they took her on as an apprentice. Which is not beyond the realm of the possible for Alexis....

Pat Dugan and Carmela Rodriguez met once and never again. The experience was life-changing. What happened?

Most likely Pat accidentally stumbled through a wizard-gate and landed in the Crossings, where he met Carmela and she gave him a quick tour before taking him back to Earth through the back door in her closet....

Joan Watson found Maria Hill crying and tried to comfort them. Did it help, or did it just make things worse?

On the one hand, I have no idea what might have led to this particular circumstance, unless perhaps Maria was in a situation where she had reason to believe Nick Fury had been killed (wrongly, because we are not acknowledging the accuracy of any MCU continuity in which that appears to have happened). But given this scenario, I feel confident that Joan would have succeeded to some degree - by comparison, Maria should be much less of a challenge to comfort than, say, Sherlock. :-)